Nine Lives of the Village Board?

Tonight was supposed to be the last Dungan/Gallucci/Osborn meeting, but they've scheduled a special meeting for the last possible day, 5/31. Working on finding out exactly what the meeting is for...

Also coming tomorrow: Updates on Operation Kaztard.

What are they thinking?!

So, Brian Kimbiz/Kazmin has decided to take an extended vacation (see also: newer and more betterer job than the one he was elected to). He'll be missing at least 7 meetings, but will supposedly be available via email (I'm still waiting for responses on some long overdue emails, and apparently the New Paltz Times is, as well). You can read about it here and here and here.

He's decided he won't accept his salary while he's gone (aww, thanks!), but I'm wondering why he and others have been accepting their salaries while they were actually here?! I've talked about Village Board attendance in the past (if you want to see the previous posts, check out Committed Volunteers and Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are! In addition, Brian Kimbiz/Kazmin wasn't even technically elected, which you can read about at Ulster County Board of Elections: Shady or just stupid?).

(Click on the image for larger versions, which will open in a new window)

Think about that for a little bit. I'll be back to discuss in greater detail tonight.

Job Search

Since I am semi-quasi-unemployed (I don't know, either), I have lots and lots of free time, especially since school doesn't start back up for a few weeks. This free time has allowed me to do many things and I am actually quite busy.

1. Update blog relentlessly to make up for lengthy periods of absence.
2. Harass local elected officials and complain about politics in general.
3. Search for jobs, all day every day, and share my findings with you so that you can also take advantage of my efforts and find your dream job. I only need one, really, and some of these opportunities are just too amazing to be wasted. Consider me your own personal headhunter.
4. Wear pajamas as much as possible while showering as little as possible.
5. Delve into the culinary arts and create amazing new delicacies based only on the items I have at hand since I can't afford to buy new food.
6. Never sleep during nighttime hours/always sleep during daytime hours.

Below are some amazing employment opportunities from the most recent Craigslist roundup. They're not all in the Hudson Valley, since there's no point in being picky, but who wouldn't want to relocate for a career in selling Brazilian hair? I mean, really.

1. Uploading porn. Most of those work from home things you see are scams. Crazy, I know, but you can't always trust a sign hammered onto a telephone pole. I guess it's just the sad times we live in. Craigslist, however, provides a wealth of lucrative work from home options that allow flexible scheduling and staggering salaries. Qualifications for this one are being 18. Tasks include looking at porn, uploading porn to websites, and summarizing your porn activities. If you don't jump on this one, you're craze. Carpe diem, bitches!!! http://hudsonvalley.craigslist.org/cpg/2301989804.html
2. Pretend to be a (clothed) lesbian for $100/hour. Too good to be true, I know, but how could something this incredible be anything but legit? "Be part of a staged lesbian photo shoot and earn $100/hr. NO NUDITY." I wonder if actual lesbians are disqualified? http://hudsonvalley.craigslist.org/spa/2373970923.html
3. Bouncer. This position won't be for everyone. It requires outstanding credentials, including NYS Bouncer certification. If you are one of the lucky few, I doubt you'll be disappointed. BTW, if anyone can actually provide me with any info on how one actually becomes a NYS Bouncer, I'd be forever indebted. http://hudsonvalley.craigslist.org/sec/2358144144.html
4. Community Cat Coordinator. Love working with animals while doing good deeds? Then you might be the next Atlanta Community Cat Coordinator! Drive around, catch cats, get paid. Simple. But there's a catch - you must be able to catch very heavy cats, in excess of 50 lbs. You must also have "excellent cat handling skills" (this can't be emphasized enough!) and roam around in extreme heat and cold. But at the rate of $10.00 an hour, how could you go wrong? http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/npo/2370575492.html
5. "Hippies with a flow" needed! I know, you were thinking Groovy Blueberry, but no! This is another Atlanta-area opportunity to sell art. Qualifications include playing ping pong and foosball, have a smart attitude, and be psyched on life. Knowledge will be provided to you by the employer. $100/day is minimum wage. MINIMUM! http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/med/2359721783.html
6. Barf and sell art. I believe this is the same company, but for hippies with a different kind of flow. Same employer, but now you need only a hype attitude. And you're not actually supposed to be good at ping pong and foosball, since the goal is to beat you. And sell art. And barf. Minimum wage is still $100/day, though. If I was one of the stellar candidates who also had a smart attitude and was psyched on life, I'd be pissed that these vomiting slackers make the same wages. But whatevs. http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/fbh/2370620240.html
7. Sell Brazilian hair. I thought the point of a brazilian was to take AWAY hair, but maybe you'll be selling the leftovers? http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/sls/2368563580.html
8. Teach English in South Korea. Opportunities in China also available. Free housing, no taxes, and a round trip ticket. It's like a blend of indentured servitude and a free vacation. "If you like to teach English while travel to Asia" or "proof the English write," this is the job for you. http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/edu/2378231590.html
9. Assistant Montessori Teacher. You probably won't get paid, but your 18-month to 4-year old will be allowed to go to school. You should be "Computer Savvy: Face book, Twitter, PR, Website, comfortable with on line search." You must also "be able to produce any report as the Director request" and "be able to handle multi-task." But there's a catch - you MUST include a PHOTOGRAPH. This is so important that they say it twice. Regardless, if you'd like your child to be educated in this fine institution, go ahead and apply. Just be sure to send two pictures. Or something. http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/edu/2370035184.html
10. KARAOKE BATTLE USA!!! Ok, so it's not technically a job, but you're gonna be FAMOUS!!! For KARAOKE!!! I don't need to say anything else. http://neworleans.craigslist.org/tfr/2348045414.html
11. Inflatable Ride Attendant. Bouncy. House. Done. http://longisland.craigslist.org/lab/2378680546.html
12. Photo taker. Get off your damn high horse. We're not looking for Diane Arbus here. Just take some photos. http://longisland.craigslist.org/rej/2347698087.html
13. CHANGE YOUR LIFE TODAY AT 8:30AM! I'm not sure what this is for, and it violates one of my cardinal rules about not being awake while unemployed. Whatever life changes are in store for me at 8:30AM, they can't be good. It's like what they say about us welfare queens - we're all just a bunch of lazy, do nothing bums who refuse to wake up in the morning and get off the dole. Of course, that's always been true in my case, whether publicly assisted or not. Regardless, if you're one of those sickening morning people, have at it. Maybe you, too, can learn how to type ALL IN CAPS OBNOXIOUSLY ON THE INTERWEBZ!!! http://longisland.craigslist.org/rej/2380241981.html
14. Sewer. I couldn't figure out why being a pipe with crap in it is a profession. After clicking on the ad, I'm even more confused, since I don't see how a pipe with crap in it can possibly be expected to assemble swimsuits. No thumbs, people. http://longisland.craigslist.org/lab/2382592864.html
15. Houseman/Couple for Oversea Home/Dog Care. I have no idea what the hell that means. And I'm having major trouble WITH THE GOD DAMN CAPS LOCK. But I like gays, and dogs, and child. So why not? http://longisland.craigslist.org/dmg/2386087558.html

There you have it, folks. The top 15 career opportunities of the day. You don't have to thank me; I've applied for them all and will PWN your ass.

Tuscaloosa Tornado Relief Efforts

UPDATE, 5/16/2011: We are no longer updating the site regularly, as other resources have had a chance to collect comprehensive information. Visit the headers at the top of this blog for additional resources, but please contact the site to ensure they are up to date before visiting or donating. If you would like to donate in the Hudson Valley or Albany, NY areas, please contact me. Thank you so much for all of your support.



Some people have asked how they can help us keep the blog going. We're happy to do it and can keep going without contributions; please direct your donations to other organizations in the area. Our preferred choice are the two UA SLIS donation sites, which will go directly to the faculty, staff and students in our program; any extra will be distributed to other relief efforts on the ground in Tuscaloosa. They can be found under the "Financial Support" heading.

Update (5/1, 5:05 p.m. EST): Please look at Supply Donations which has been revamped and updated and Financial Support which presents double the number of charitable organizations that are providing aid to Alabama and those states damaged by the tornado. Give goods or give money, you are sure to find an organization that addresses your personal philosophy.

Update (4/30, 8:30 a.m. EST): Last night we moved most of the information onto subpages, which you can access from the links at the top of this page, or by scrolling down. This should make it easier for people to find exactly what information they're looking for quickly. Some new content has been added, such as the Insurance section under Information Resources/Lost and Found.

Those donation drop points which had Friday deadlines have been struck through but not yet deleted.

As relief efforts get organized on the ground, so they do online. There is so much more available information than there was 24 hours ago. We look forward to gathering it for you here at Legislative Barbie. Don't forget to comment with updates to the lists! We are trying to include all the information we come across, but we can get your event or site listed much faster if you come to us instead of waiting for us to find you. Thank you!

*If you need CLEAR/SUCCINCT info, visit our mirror at http://bama-slis.libguides.com/helpBama. This page provides less detail, but the information is organized much better.*

*If you need CURRENT/COMPREHENSIVE info, continue to read this page, which provides more detail and is updated more frequently.*

We've collected some information on ways that DE students and/or alumni can help. While we aren't experiencing the immediate effects of the tornado in Tuscaloosa, but the feeling of helplessness and frustration can also be overwhelming. Hopefully one of these resources or ideas will be feasible for you as we join together in support of our friends, professors and colleagues in the Tuscaloosa area.

We will send updated information to SLIS-L as it becomes available. If anyone is aware of additional information, please feel free to email Turner.Brittany AT gmail DOT com, call 916-384-6735 or comment on this post. We will include your relief suggestions in the list. This blog post will be updated any time new information becomes available.

The most needed resource is financial support, as money can be used to facilitate any combination of recovery efforts when they are needed most. This includes clean up, food, shelter, and other emergency services. If you are unable to offer financial support, there are a number of other options available to help. Also, remember that this will be a long-term effort. While there may be many donations now, additional support will be needed in the coming months and your generosity may be spread across an extended period of time to sustain efforts in Tuscaloosa.

Please use the links at the top of the window to get more information on:

• Financial Support
• Supply Donations (All States)
• Life Support
• Shelters and Food Pantries
• Volunteer Opportunities
• Information Resources/Lost and Found

Other Ways to Help

1. Host a fundraiser in your own community.
2. Ask friends, neighbors, and local stores for donations of needed supplies.
3. If you are nearby, consider volunteering for cleanup and service work. Many organizations, such as the Red Cross and Salvation Army, train people and facilitate volunteer efforts in communities experiencing natural disaster. Contact your local center for additional information.
4. Organize a community-wide relief day in your town. Ask that local businesses dedicate a percentage of proceeds from the day to tornado relief in Tuscaloosa.

Compiled by:
Brittany Turner, Student Advisory Council, DE Representatives, Sixth Sense/Trickeration Nation Online Cohort
Lamont Pearson, Student Advisory Council, DE Representatives, Sixth Sense/Trickeration Nation Online Cohort
Morgan Haley
V Dozier, Sixth Sense/Trickeration Nation Online Cohort
Leah Allison, Sixth Sense/Trickeration Nation Online Cohort

VoNP and Other Things

There's an election coming in the Village of New Paltz. May 3. Crazy, right? If you know who's running, you know why I've (tried) to be quiet on this. I've done a good job and I'm glad I did keep my big mouth (fingers?) shut (off the keyboard?) because I *will* be attempting a little mini-project that will (hopefully) lead to some impartial coverage over here at Barbie Blog. Of course, all of this depends on whether the candidates respond or not, so fingers crossed for freedom of information and open access to government (or, in this case, pre-governmental candidates).

In the meantime, if you want to check out the debates, either buy a TV and subscribe to local cable (channel 23 has a nearly round-the-clock rotation of political and quasi-political programming from candidates, including various incarnations of the past few debates and government meetings) and check out the debate schedule over at the Gadfly. The SUNY New Paltz Oracle, specifically Maxim Alter, is doing a fantastic job of covering not only the candidates, but also the issues, and is making good use of embedded video from past debates. New Paltz Times also has some here-and-there coverage, but we know you're most interested in the letters. After this week, we'll have only 1 more paper of pre-election debauchery, so shell out the buck and enjoy.

Keep in mind that with THIRTEEN candidates in this election, nearly EVERYONE has some sort of stake or alliance in things. I'm openly supporting the One Community Party, and Gadfly's KT is on the Jason West/Ariana Basco team-that-isn't-technically-a-team. Same goes for the debates (Woodland Ponds excepted) - from what I hear, /root's Justin Holmes is supporting at least one individual candidate, and Town/Gown Connect's Brian Wallace is partners and partners with another. None of this makes anyone inherently good or bad (it's good to have opinions in an election!); just keep this in mind when you're reviewing coverage, whether here, on channel 23, or elsewhere in this wide, wide web of worldness.

ALSO!
I suspect I'm *really* late to the game on this one, but the Watershed Post is a phenomenal local blog/web media/environmental advocacy/etc. site that I am embarrassed to admit I missed and am presently addicted to. Just this week alone we have horses, turkeys, ramps, bears, stabbings, and fracking. JUST THIS WEEK, people!!! They describe themselves as, "a news and information hub for the Catskills, the source of New York City's water" broken into "local news," "searchable and updateable business directory," and "events calendar." I just call them, "awesome." Jam a needle of this one into your arm, lie back, and enjoy the bliss...

Two Books, Two New Paltzes

As Co-Chair of “Two Books, Two New Paltzes” (I’m not sure which I’m representing because I live in both New Paltz and New Paltz), I am happy to introduce our book selection for 2010, “A Tale of Two Cities.”

Many of you are familiar with Dickens’ original tale, but our version has a twist. I would like to share a brief excerpt from the opening of the book, which I’m sure you will find relevant to our current circumstances.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and then it got even worse.

It was the age of secrecy, it was the age of foolishness.

It was the epoch of intimidation, it was the epoch of incredulity.

It was the season of lies, it was the season of darkness.

It was the spring of zeal, it was the winter of despair.

We had everything before us, we had nothing before us.

We were not going direct to Heaven, we were all heading direct the other way. (Perhaps to Gardiner?)

In short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

There was a Supervisor with a large community center on the throne of New Paltz; there was a Mayor with a large firehouse on the throne of New Paltz. In both New Paltzes it was clearer than crystal that things in general would be done as they demanded.

It is extraordinary how Dickens’ words, written over 150 years ago, still carry so much resonance today.

Anyone interested in “Two Books, Two New Paltzes” can search for our group on Facebook. In addition, I encourage everyone to attend the upcoming Local Government Efficiency Advisory Committee meetings, so that in the near future we can actually have “One Book, One New Paltz.”

I'm not dead yet!

Legislative Barbie is not dead, yet. Just terribly, overwhelmingly, beautifully busy. Soon. Promise. <3